The Never-Ending Scene Blogfest

Published October 23, 2010 by LS Murphy

Brenda Drake’s The Never-Ending Scene Blogfest contest intirques me! (Find it here atΒ http://brenleedrake.blogspot.com/2010/10/editing-prizes-from-ca-marshall-for-my.html)

Here is my entry. This is from the first chapter of my current YA project, Reaper.

Well, The Never-Ending Scene Blogfest has ended. Thanks to everyone who voted for me. I have already cashed in my AWESOME prize.

Best part, though, was that I made a few new friends.

Thanks again.

 

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44 comments on “The Never-Ending Scene Blogfest

  • Hi! Great cliffhanger entry. I like the way you’ve structured it. So this is a good first chapter scene which will make the reader read on.

    I’d better go and post mine. Never know when the time is right with the time difference..:)

  • You definitely do a good job of creating atmosphere and you weave in a lot of nice details. A few notes: I didn’t like the “my eyes widen to epic proportions” because Quincy can’t see her eyes and it feels like a comment someone would observe rather than see. Second, I know the note is required or she can’t see it, but it seems like it would make more sense if they were texting. But that’s just a small thing and probably doesn’t matter. I want to see more!

    • I’ve struggled with many incarnations of the “my eyes…” line, truth be told. Originally it was along the lines of “I feel my …”, but I dropped the “I feel”.
      As for the testing part, the school has a no cell policy. Hence the note. The character of Robert would have no problem sending a text anyway, but Connor is more innocent in that regard. He initiates the note. Of course, this is all better understood with more words. LOL
      Thanks for the comments. I really appreciate them. πŸ™‚

  • Very interesting. I like the story as there are some great elements and the last line is enough to make me want to read more. I wasn’t sure the gender of the main character, but that is common with a scene from first person pov. Either way, I’m interested.

  • I like the beginning – reminds me of the Gone series. Only 2 things I thought might trip people up – #1: the “it’s my birthday and the world is changing” thing really seems to be done these days. Not that you can’t do it, but maybe not on the first page. #2: I have a little concern that the entire world is frozen and she takes the time to read a note, get mad, and scratch him. That could just be that I’m getting such a small sample, but had to mention it.

    Good cliffhanger – I didn’t expect that she would be able to see her future here.
    erica

  • Nice! I like the added touch of her scratching Robert’s hand and taking five. Totally would have done that myself. I love that this scene starts with everyone frozen but her. I was completely sucked in! I wanted to know how everyone came to be that way and who that man was at the end. Great scene and cliffhanger!

  • That was a really cool scene! And who is that strange old man offering to show Quincy his future? Love the imagery. Ah, the things that happen in a high school classroom…when I taught at school there were times I wished I could just pause time and peek at what all the kids were up to! πŸ™‚

  • Hey there,

    Didn’t have a chance to read your entry earlier but let me just say it ROCKS! Very cool, great imagery, and a definite cliffhanger!!

    And YAY we’re both semi-finalists! Woohoo!

    Tessa.xx

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