As is the tradition in Missouri, we embarked upon our annual float trip down the Meramac River this past weekend. And as is also the tradition, people got well sloshed.
For those not in the know about this annual summer fun, let me explain rather briefly. On the smaller rivers in Missouri, people rent rafts, canoes, kayaks, or even tubes. They get dropped off at one point and picked up at another. In between, they float down the river with a ton of alcohol, a buttload of food, and as many friends as they can find to convince them to go and get sloshed with them. And they always manage to find one friend to jump off a cliff. To extend the trip for as long as possible, they stop at sand/rock banks and whoop it up with the other people who also stopped.
In other words, it’s a good time.
Unless you get stuck under one of the many trees.
Or lose your glasses.
Or, worse yet, hit a bit tree in the middle of the river and get tossed overboard, making you lose your cookies.
All of which happened on this year’s trip.
Like I said, it’s a good time.
As I chose to stay sober, sucking down tons of water and Pepsi, on that ungodly hot day, I can say this with the most honesty and clarity of any other member of our trip.
It was the best one to date.
And I know what each and every one of you did…